Deep inside it hurts.

Drama mode. I need to be patient, I need to control myself, I need not to comment and make excuses and I need to understand the people who are talking lies and negative feedbacks about me. But Darn! It hurts.

Totoo talaga na hindi lahat ng tao ay maple-please mo. Well, kahit sa Bible sinasabi ring wag mong i-please ang tao, kundi si God.

Sa mundong ito, hindi lahat ng taong kumakausap sayo or nakakasama mo eh totoo sayo. Minsan, pag may reklamo sila sayo, sa ibang tao pa nila ito sasabihin imbes na sabihin sayou ng harapan.

Minsan pa nga, ikakalat na muna nila yung mga ayaw nila sayo at malalaman mo pa sa ibang tao. Kapag tinanong mo naman sila ng harapan, biglang deny sila. Tao nga naman. Mabuti na nga lang may mga natitira pang tao ang nandiyan para sabihin sayo ang gusto nilang sabihin sayo at ang tawag doon ay kaibigan.

Para sa akin, malalaman mo nga kung sino talaga ang tunay mong kaibigan kung ikaw ay nasa kagipitan, kung ikaw ay nasa kasiyahan. Nakita ko ang tunay na kaibigan kay God. Nahahanap kay God ang kaibigan. Dapat alam mong kaibigan mo si God dahil Siya ang magbibigay ng tunay n kaibigan sayo ditto sa mundong ginagalawan mo. (masyado na atang OA, pero totoo).

Maraming tao ang dadaan sa buhay mo, kumbaga magiging part ng buhay mo pero iilan lang dun ang tunay na kaibigan.

Dhan and me

Maituturing kong Bestfriend si Dhan, kasi siya yung unang lalaking tumanggap sa akin, ano pa man ang nagging past at pinagdaanan ko. Bestfriend ko rin siya, kasi kahit ano pa man ang mangyari hindi niya ako iniwan. Naging witness ko rin siya sa pangyayari ng buhay ko. Kaya siguro minahal ko siya at ngayon mahal na mahal ko siya.

   

 

Hannah and me



Best friend ko rin si Hannah Edangan, magmula grade school, magakakilala na kami, madalas naglalaban ang schools naming sa mga contests. Hanggang sa dumating yung highschool. Sophomores kami ng naging close at dun nagsimula an gaming journey bilang magkaibigan. Madalas kaming magkasama, madalas kaming nagbibiruan, madalas kaming naghihintay sa pagpasok ng school, kapag kakain, kapag matutulog at madalas alam naming ang sikreto ng isa’t isa. (hahaha natatawa tuloy ako, parang lovers?) Well, ganon talaga magaan ang aming pakikitungo sa isa’t isa. Siguro meron lang naging common sa amin at nag-jive kami agad, at yun ay si God. Pareho kaming nakakilala kay God. Nasa college na kami, ganon parin communication. Hanggang sa nagka-anak ako, at naging Ninang siya. Well, hanggang ngayon we’re still friends at she’s excited on our wedding at siya ang mag-aasikaso ng ibang part.

Sa work naman, hmmm??? Hindi kasi lahat ng tao permanente at ito n yung sinasabi kong Drama mode at feedbacks.

The only permanent in the world is CHANGE. In short, everything is not permanent. Hindi lahat ng tao gusto ka, hindi lahat ng tao nanjan para sayo, hindi lahat ng tao tutulungan ka, hindi lahat ng tao totoo sayo, hindi lahat ng tao mag-i-stay pag nag-stay ka, hindi lahat ng tao totoo sa sarili nila, hindi lahat ng tao kaya kang sakyan or vice versa, hindi lahat ng tao mapagkakatiwalaan at higit sa lahat hindi lahat ng tao ay TAO madalas pa silang Plastik!

Plastik (Plastic)? May taong plastic ba? San ba nanggaling ang word na plastic? Ayon sa dictionary ang plastic ay isang materyal. Malaking MATERYAL! A wide range of synthetic or semi-synthetic organic solids that is moldable. But many are partially natural. Ahhh… yun pala.

Para sa akin walang taong plastic. Natatakot silang ilabas yung totoong sila. Natatakot silang tanggaping yung sarili nila. Natatakot silang tanggapin sila ng ibang tao. Natatakot silang maging totoo sa taong nakapaligid sakanila. At ang tawag dun ay Takot, in english Fear. Pwede ring Duwag?! Ikaw na bahalang magdescribe.

Sabi nga ng Friend ko sa Work (hahaha may friend pala ako sa Work), “Hindi ako naniniwala sa taong plastic, kasi desisyon nila yun kung gusto ka nilang galangin at respetuhin. It’s a matter of respect.

Joyleta, Me and Kristine

Sa pagtratrabaho ko sa kompanyang ito, iilan lang ang mga taong totoo at tunay na kaibigan. And I’m proud to say na nakita at alam kong totoo (kahit hindi ata? Joke!) sa akin ay sina Kristine Monzon, at Joyleta Bayani.

They corrected me if I’m wrong, they advised if I need (sometimes hindi ko rin pala kailangan) and you can count on them. Minsan mean sila sayo pero hindi ibig sabihin noon galit sila sayo. You need some other people to grow and be mature. At thankful ako kasi sa ganitong Line of Business bihira ka lang magkaroon ng kasama ng mga taong concern sayo.

Me and Levi

Thankful narin ako kasi they are being part of my life. Well, sabi rin ng isa kong friend na si Levi isalos, kapag badtrip ang tao sayo dahil lang sa comment mong hindi naman kapansin pansin, e hayaan na lang. Bakit? Kasi, hindi mo naman mood mo yung masisira kaya huwag magpapaapekto.

Maraming tsismosa (sobrang dami), maraming inggitera, maraming aaway sayo, maraming aapi sayo at maraming ayaw sayo. Kaya habang hindi mo masasabing may tiwala ka na agad sa kanila. At isa lang isispin pag nasa trabaho. Bakit ba ako nandito? Para kanino ba at nagtratrabaho ako. Hindi naman sakanila at hindi rin sila ang bumubuhay sayo, kaya deadma lang. Find someone who can jive your mood.

Dapat marunong kang lumaban pero andun parin ang humbleness. Wag kang papaya na apakan ng ibang tao ang pagkatao. Kung sila ay hindi naniniwala sayo, isa lang gawin mo ang maniwala sa sarili mo. Dahil mas kilala mo ang sarili mo kesa sa pagkakakilala nila sayo.

Kung i-judge ka man nila, deadma lang as long as alam mo ang totoo. At ang response din diyan ay wag mo rin silang i-judge.

Love selflessly. Ang ginagawa ko lang, iniisip ko na lang ang iba dahil alam kong mas ako yung nakakaintindi sakanila. They’re lost but they will be found kasi andito ako to reach them.

Eto pa pala, maraming nagrereklamo sa akin dahil daw kung makapagstatus ako sa FB or sa Windows Live Messenger eh wagas. Magulo pa, nakakairita, isip-bata, immature at hindi raw nila nakikita yung pagiging Christian ko. Hahaha natawa lang ako pero masakit kasi andoon parin ung part mong masasaktan ka talaga. Nag-isip na lang ako, hindi naman kasi nila alam ang tunay na dahilan kung bakit ganoon. At Hindi nagpost na ng verse kelangan overnight makikita na yung pagababago.

Actually, nasasaktan na ako sa mga corrections nila sa akin na animo’y mali parin ako kahit sa simpleng status lang or comment lang. Pero wala akong magagawa eh, opinion nila. At hindi ko naman kelangan makipagtalo. Iniisip ko na lang na isang advised kahit natatapakan na yung pagkatao ko, or nasasaktan na feelings ko.

Habang nagta-type ako netong article na toh (2days ko ng ginagawa), naalala ko yung lesson namin sa Training for Victory about fellowship and the character na kailangan magakaroon ka.

Ø  Humility

Ø  Patient

Ø  Forbearance

Ø  Considerate

Ø  (hindi ko na matandaan, edit ko na lang pag naalala ko na)

Minsan pag may mga comments mo na kinontra nila, at hihingin opinion mo, kokontrahin ulit nila. Mas maganda na lang na tumahimik ka at pag-uwi sa bahay umiyak ka at magdasal.

Hay… minsan naiisip ko mali ba lahat ng nacocontribute ko? Mali yung iniisip ko? Mali ba yung ginagawa ko? Kasi ang sakit sakit na. On my point of view, nararamdaman kong I’m not belong, I’m not even trusted and lastly I’m not even exists.

(Naglabas lang ako ng sama ng loob tungkol sa Work ko, sa Team ko, sa teammate ko at sa ibang taong dito sa office).

Sometimes, I would like to BREAK down and CRY. Do I deserve this? Or is this a test? Lord, heal me, help me and restore me.

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." James 1: 12



A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-am-VICTORIOUS!

A--Accept

Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made
even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives,
or actions.

B--Break Away

Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you
hope to accomplish with your life.

C--Create

Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams,
sorrows, and happiness with.

D--Decide

Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and
good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles
along the way.

E--Explore

Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you
have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll
learn more about yourself.

F--Forgive

Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire
unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone
makes mistakes.

G--Grow

Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt
you or stand in your way.

H--Hope

Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible
as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

I--Ignore

Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on
your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success
is only a small inkling of what the future holds. Eternal Life is our future.

J--Journey

Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded.
Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.

K--Know

Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get
better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.

L--Love

Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your
heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your
heart, there's room for endless happiness.

M--Manage

Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer
less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important
things in life.

N--Notice

Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering.
Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness
and understanding.

O--Open

Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during
the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.

P--Play

Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing
without happiness.

Q--Question

Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.

R--Relax

Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember
that things always have a way of working out in the end.

S--Share

Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others.
Everything that you invest in others will return to you many
times over.

T--Try

Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, TRY anyway.
You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.

U--Use

Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has
no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.

V--Value

Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged
you, and be there for them as well.

W--Work

Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never
feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers
a second chance.

X--X-Ray

Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see
the goodness and beauty within.

Y--Yield

Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated,
you'll find success at the end of the road.

Z--Zoom

Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its
ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.

"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

-Isaiah 40:31

Get well soon Asher!

3am: Asher was crying and I woke up, checking on her. OMG! She’s hot. I woke up Dhan to get the thermometer and guess what, her temperature rose to 39.1 degrees Celsius. I decided to turn off the electric fan and after a couple of minutes, Asher perspired. And checked on her temperature and went down to 38.1 degrees Celsius. Sleep

4am: Asher was crying again and asking for milk. Check on her temperature again, and it went down to 37.7degress Celsius. Whew!

5am: Asher is now fine. But still we’re monitoring her health.

Well, hoping that she gets well coz mama is so worried… L

“All’s well hoping that ends well” (hehehe)

Hello Tumblr!

Well, I want to welcome myself in tumblr.com and thanks to Kristine Monzon, she insisted me to create my own tumblr account. She said that instead of posting Statuses in Facebook because it is a public social site, it is better to post it in a blogsite or make a blog. She had a point and yesterday I recovered my old blog site and made my own tumblr account. She guided me and helped me on how to navigate tumblr.com.

Hello, Hello, Tumblr! C’mon…

“Think before you Click”

Hello Four days-OFF!

Hello, Hello, Hello! Today is February 1, 2012. This is the first time that we got our four days of rest day. Whew! It’s worth it; our team did a great job to achieve the highest score for the month of January.

The questions now are:

Ø  How will I spend it?

Ø  Whom shall I spend it with?

Ø  Where will I spend it?

MY answer?! I want to spend it with my Family, I want to have a Family outing, go out of town, and go to the beach… I miss the sand, the waves, the shore, the nature and the presence of God that is clearing my heart and mind from the stress of work. Hoping it will happen on February 3 or 4, 2012.

Dhan (my fiancée) and I having fights about the “out of town” issue. He doesn’t want to go out of town. He said that we will just wasting money instead of keeping it. But I know, deep inside of his heart there’s a real reason why he doesn’t want to go.

I saw a place that is fits our budget. Paraiso Beach Resort in Sariaya, Quezon province.  From their website, I guess this is the place. The rates are good, the vibes, and it is just a three-hour ride from the town. Hope you can go there too.

Well, we’ll see these coming days.

**fingers-crossed

“If it is God’s will, then it is God’s bill”